jeffreecuntstar
@MikeSheaAP I always buy a seat for my Louis V bag so no one can come near me
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HappySquared
Until you've used a diving board to help you get dressed in the morning, you haven't really gotten dressed at all.
jackbox
I started running again. It still sucks.
HDinOregon
To all my followers, you may be subjected to dreadful misspelling, grammatical rape, and other linguistic verbal abuse. Please be patient!
markhoppus
my tweet impersonations: @petewentz my brain is the beehive and my body is the bees. the queen is caught in the honey. we're all sandwiches.
Sladet87
If that exam was dumbledore, consider me severus snape. Avada kadavra Bitch.
allyouzombies
i just found out that 1/4 of jonas brothers fans apparently don't know that when it says *type question here*, that's where you goddamn type
redpenmama
I just had to block someone on twitter. Her only update was about people looking for sex in my area. Yeah, I got one of those at home.
maddyline
k mmmmmmmmmmmmm,7
3
(OMG, MY CAT WROTE THAT, HE'S A GENIUS.)